How to Get Your Way Thread on the Subtle Art of Negotiation:

Negotiation is the most important skill to master to succeed in all areas of life. Yet, most people fail miserably at it. Today is the day you separate yourself from these unfortunates. Let’s dive in and see how to make people tell you “YES”.

Negotiation is part of everyday life. You negotiate with everyone all the time to get what you want. Top positions in any industry basically do that exclusively all the time.

People fall into two different categories when it comes to negotiation: The hard approach. The soft approach. The hard approach is assertive or aggressive and seeks to win. The soft approach is more concerned with the relationship and has difficulties saying no.

The soft approach is great… When dealing with other soft negotiators. But it loses big when facing other hard negotiators. The hard approach works. But you create resentful partners with whom you will never be able to deal again.

Successful negotiation requires being both firm and open. You don’t have to choose between hard and soft. The secret is to be hard on the topic of negotiation while being warm and respectful towards the people.

Successful Negotiation is based on four pillars: 1. Separating people from the issue. 2. Focusing on interests, not positions. 3. Generating options for mutual gain. 4. Insisting on using objective criteria.

-Separate People From The Problem. Constant battle for dominance threatens the relationship In negotiations, it’s easy for egos to get in the way. This is the main reason many people end up shooting themselves in the foot and missing out big time. Let's me explain.

If you get into an adversarial negotiation, chances are things will escalate and fail. People end up stuck not because the proposed solution is not good for them. They just don’t want to seem like they are caving in.

-Focus on Interests, Not Positions When you focus on positions you blind yourself to alternative solutions. It’s more likely that you end up in adversarial positions. While we seek to win with our positions, we can find many different ways to meet our interests.

-Insist on Using Objective Criteria Using objective criteria and agreeing on fair standards is all the more important when the parties are in direct opposition. These are the types of negotiations that are at the highest risk of becoming adversarial.

Adhering to fair standards and criteria will help keep the negotiations focused on the issues. This will avoid falling into unnecessary arguments and thus waste precious time away.

Dirty Negotiation Tricks Most people respond to dirty tactics by doing nothing and hoping it won’t happen again. That's not how it works.

Responding in kind is also not a good idea The solution is to draw attention to the trick and then negotiate fairer rules for the rest of the negotiation. Sometimes you can strategically pretend you’re falling for it ;)

If you are interested in psycholigical tricks I have a specific lesson on it along with other counter manipulations tactics. Check it out here:

Here’s a recap’ of what we just explained: •Separate the problems from the people. •Negotiate based on interests, not on positions. •Look for shared interests. •Be open to changing opinion based on facts. I'm done.

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