Spartan Psyche

Spartan Psyche

15-04-2022

13:19

How to Win respect from anyone without looking needy :

The most unattractive trait for an individual to display in any social communication is neediness. This wanton display of insecurity is the quickest way to turn off the tap to any attraction and lose all respect.

Evolution has hardwired in humans certain behavioural tendencies and psychological wants. The most fundamental among them is a want of respect. Being respected is displaying that you have the competence and are placed high up on any social hierarchy

You fail to earn respect because you approach it from the frame of want. You desire it so badly it seeps through the cracks in your facade and you come across as needy. This is wrong. To earn respect, you need to communicate the right way.

As social beings, humans communicate for a plethora of reasons & we do it in these ways : ➼ Assertive ➼ Passive ➼ Aggressive ➼ Passive - agressive Usually we use a mixture of all of them. Assertiveness when used well is the most rewarding of them all.

Assertiveness is an open and honest exchange where everyone's wishes are respected. Your goal is to communicate without denying your true self. It is not a strategy of getting your own way, But communicating that you are in charge of your behaviour YOU will decide what you do

Assertive communication involves putting forth your message clearly, displaying confidence and enforcing boundaries. You will do this with both verbal and non verbal elements

Non Verbals : ➼ Posture ➼ Movements ➼ Tonality Verbal communication is important to convey facts but Non verbal is key to convey anything other than key information. For accurate information delivery you need to combine both verbal and non verbal channels.

Keep your posture upright, shoulders back, spine erect. If you use gestures, they must be fluid and relaxed, Any muscle tension is clearly a give away of low confidence. Palms open and relaxed, do not clench your fists. Keep a normal conversational distance.

Do not be the weird guy who stares into your eyes like he's fishing for your soul. Keep eye contact frequent but broken with occasional horizontal glances. Match facial expressions to context of message being delivered. Use common sense, don't smile when delivering bad news

Keep your tone warm and your voice modulated. Never end the sentence with a higher pitch - you sounds insincere and jittery Talk slow with intent, do not hesitate, take time to think through your arguments What you say and how you say it are both equally important

Remember efficient conversation is a two way street. Be willing to change your mind when presented with new information. Opinions must be given out candidly in a non Aggressive manner not stated as facts that are the gospel.

One thing that is crucial to improve your assertiveness as a communicator is feedback. Understand, you cannot see how you speak. You need an honest eye to critique. Learn to differentiate between lazy opinion and genuine feedback

Always avoid criticism from people who's judgement is flawed. It serves no purpose. How you accept feedback is also a part of your non needy frame. Accept genuine feedback as a comment on your behavior not as a statement on you as an individual

Do not be passive. You are a person who gets things done - Actively pursue action. You are not trying to control but guide toward specific tasks because you are competent enough to know what's good Be unafraid to demand if situation requires aggression

Assertive communication opens doors that are rarely available to feeble, weak personalities Putting forward a competent self image is how you earn respect without chasing and seeking like a puppy seeking attention

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