John Doe

John Doe

24-11-2022

13:09

If you wait to have all the money (which is not even possible), you'll not get married. When I talk about sustainable income, it's a largely subjective matter. Men who earn sustainable 300k can maintain a marriage more than men who earn one off or occasional N2m. So sometimes,

when I get DMs like this, I begin to wonder if some people are really getting my message? Aren't "poor" people getting married? Are there no newly married couples living in some remote areas? In everything we do in life, we must first be honest with our reality. This is why

for men, a woman's money or career should not matter. Looking at your situation, are you really saying that there are no women that can still look up to you in this life? Are you saying that you cannot feed yourself & feed her & both of you weather the storm together? Is there

nothing you can offer at all & are you really condemning yourself for life? Are you saying that things will never improve for you better than where you are right now? You can get married but you're tasty for women that are above your level that's why. The person that advised

you to marry a woman from a poor home has a point. But I'd rather say you should marry a woman that believes in her own reality & has been able to tame her hypergamy. If you marry such woman, make sure that as you're trying to better her life, you too should be planning how to

better your own life because if you let love blind you to do stupid things, even that woman you married from a poor background can show you shege. The reason I said just marrying from a poor home doesn't really cut it is because you can marry her & another man can be screwing

your wife because he is giving her what you cannot provide for her. But if she's the type that is contented with what her husband is providing, it will be hard for her to stray even in your "poverty". How do you know such women? Good home training & the values she lives for.

Even in one's poverty, he or she should tow the path of dignity. Strip people of their wealth & they can still walk without shame. Strip people of their dignity & you have completely stripped them naked. Avoiding being in a relationship because you feel you're poor is not

even healthy for you. It won't help you because you're not building experience on how to deal with women as you struggle with life. This is why when some men finally make it life, after avoiding women, they become untamable randy men. All they missed during the days they felt

no woman would want them, they will want to recoup in their hay days. In the process, they get confused & are unable to find a good wife for themselves. They can no longer trust women because at the flash of little "change", they're at their beck and call. But deep down,

they know what is required to be a good wife. The best time to find a good wife for you is when you have "nothing". That is when both of you are truly real to yourselves. Once you are real to yourselves & you the man has a sustainable income, you can get married. Not when you

feel you have millions that are not even guaranteed within a short period of time. And both of you can grow from there. Know the difference. All these "make money, women will come" can easily be misconstrued by naive persons. And it actually sends the wrong message to

young single men. I dated my wife for many years when I had "nothing". And we decided to get married when I had started making a sustainable income. She too was making her own money, but I was not looking at her money. I was looking at mine. What I was earning when I married

my wife has since quadrupled & more. It started from the foundation I laid & God has been merciful. That's determination & commitment. And I kept giving her hope. Many young men will miss out on this if they keep misconstruing this "make money, women will come" clichΓ©.

I don't want you to have that mindset. I want you to have the mindset of pragmatism, realism & above all, cut your coat according to your size. I don't know what you mean by "you don't want to be sleeping around". If Kongi hook you, find one girl to knack & pay her off. End.



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