
The 7 worst pieces of advice young men must ignore to be happy - thread -
As a highly analytical guy fascinated by human behaviour, Iām fortunate to have gathered unbiased insights many can miss. Here are some I wish I had known earlier. Iām envious of younger guys who can reflect on these and act on them today with awareness:
1. āCommunication solves all relationship issues.ā There is nuance here, of course. Communication does indeed solve most interpersonal problems - absolutely.
But in a romantic context: hell no. She tells you you need to āopen up,ā but itās another subconscious strength test, guys. Youāre weak in her eyes if you reveal all, even if she vehemently denies this in the comments (see below).
Be honest, be playful, and have fun conversations about the world, but keep the personal, morose stuff sparse. Spending hours on the phone with her means youāre her girlfriend, not her man. Communicating selectively and consciously builds your bond - it doesnāt break it.
2. āGet (legally) married.ā Weāve long since peaked in terms of the overall value that formal, state-mandated contractual marriage agreements present to most men. Itās no longer the 1950s, and - for the average man and woman - we just have to find new ways to adjust.
Certain marriages (particularly couples who practice faith) can still, of course, work, and we can discuss new options for a modern world. But, I can no longer sit by and watch men jump into marriages on limited and rose-tinted āadviceā from unhappily married people.
The risk for most men, should it fail, is monumental. For those women disagreeing, might I suggest you publicly protest the deeply unjust marital laws and legal structures that operate to destroy men who get divorced?
We see none of this, and men are shamed for trying. Perhaps less protesting in the streets to show us your 'saintly virtue' over issues we know little about, and more of this if you care to marry good men in future?
3. āBe more in touch with your feelings.ā Feelings are little more than your bodyās reflection of the state of your thinking in each moment. Trying to find meaning in feelings is like looking for wisdom in an alcohol-fueled dream. Itās pointless.
Emotions will continually fluctuate. When a woman advises you to express your feelings, it may work for her but not for you.
Do this instead: train in the gym. Go hiking. Be creative. Talk appalling shit with your guy friends. Build something.
Stop obsessing about āmental health.ā Donāt cry in front of her like a chump, and certainly donāt complain. Do what alive men do and release your energy by creating cool shit.
4. āFollow your passion.ā Especially for you young dudes, you donāt need to find your āpurposeā or know with any clarity what your passion should be. Right now, you need to relax, get out there and experiment the hell out of life and start figuring out how to make money.
You want to gather more and more data about what works and what doesnāt. Act on what works, and you will eventually find yourself on purpose without even realising it.
5. āGo plant-based.ā Isnāt this me being unfair and cruel to vegans who make their own choices in life?
Canāt I just live and let live and be nice to the moo-cows, bro? Of course, but Iām here to give it to you straight to those on the fence. Iām entitled to my argument.
Iām sorry to those this offends, but this needs to be said if Iām to stick up for young, impressionable men (and women) who take their guidance from dubious sources. You must protect your health and your strength first and foremost, and āplant-basedā simply aināt it.
6. āHave children quickly.ā Iām not saying donāt have children. But having children needs to be viewed as a major and an extremely carefully considered life decision - especially in your twenties.
Children are a gift, and I personally want at least five. But you donāt need to feel obliged to have children just because Crusader Jack on Twitter said so, and you donāt owe your parents a child.
I can see how lightly men take this and either find themselves broke, with a child they need to support for 20 years, or they create a single-mother household, which deprives children of fatherhood.
Iād rather see a man use his resources to build a school for a thousand children than help create a single, neglected child. Wrap up your damn pecker - or know without any doubt that you are willing to take proper, loving care of a human and all the sacrifices this takes.
7. āJust be nice.ā I see many men castrating themselves when they follow the feel-good advice to ābe nice.ā But many men, as Iāve said before, confuse kindness for āniceā and end up pushing more people away than creating bonds.
Then they wonder why theyāre continually disrespected and ignored. This happens because youāre covertly trying to gain approval from someone in a bid to increase your sense of self-worth - and we feel it. Niceness breeds resentful men.
Instead, serve people. Be selfish first, but then give without expectation. Channel your aggression and learn to love that side of you. Smile when you want to smile. Be real to be kind.
Lift people up. Be devastatingly honest. Focus on creating a magical life. Though it can seem like it isnāt, The future is yours. š
RECAP: 7 worst pieces of advice young men must ignore to be happy 1. āCommunication solves all relationship issuesā 2. āGet (legally) married.ā 3. āBe more in touch with your feelingsā 4. āFollow your passionā 5. āGo plant-basedā 6. āHave children quicklyā 7. 'Just be nice.'
Thank you. If you enjoyed this, you will love my booklet, for men + women: 'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People' Free today for a short time, when you subscribe to my newsletter: š§š»āāļø Please click + retweet:
The 7 worst pieces of advice young men must ignore to be happy
— Alex Mathers (@Alexmathers84) April 21, 2022
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