Tom Dante

Tom Dante

25-10-2022

19:56

A year in the life of a trader A thread

January: Watch a YouTube video of a 19-year-old trader at the wheel of a Lamborghini. Send him a message to ask how you too can start making money. Receive a link to a highly reputable broker - a paragon of financial excellence. Based in Cambodia.

February: Get a free account with TradingView. After seeing an advert approximately every 90 seconds, give in and spend the $15 to subscribe. Apply indicators to charts. Make 1,200% on demo.

March: Create an Excel spreadsheet to work out the return if you take $500 and compound 1,200% for 12 months. See answer is well over 3 billion. Lower it to 2 billion to make it more realistic.

April: Begin trading live. Your daily routine is 6am - 10pm: wake up and stare at your phone.

May: Your first trade has made $3 but could have made you $400 if you'd held it another 2 hours. Your second trade has lost you $400 but could have made you $3 if you'd got out two hours ago. Your third trade has just blown your account. Again.

June: You pay one of Twitter's biggest gurus to be told that the reason you cannot make money is down to psychology. They explain you deliberately lose money because your unconscious mind feels you don't deserve success. This makes perfect sense so is $1,495 well spent.

July: See someone on Twitter claiming to take 20R per week out of the futures market. They assure you their performance is unparalleled. You ask them for proof of their returns. Unfortunately, you have now been blocked.

August: You have decided to move into Crypto for the fast gains. After exactly 9 minutes of detailed research, you decide to buy your first coin. Despite checking 143 times each day for the entire month, it doesn't move apart from on just one day. When it drops 91%.

September: Decide that 'buy and hold' is dead. Real traders get in and out as opportunities arise. Refund crypto account and this time decide to scalp with leverage. From your phone. While playing Fortnite and watching a random girl constantly adjust her tits on Twitch.

October: Account is down 49% in the first 2 hours of scalping. Start Twitter account applying some of the TA you learnt last week. You've posted charts at least 23 times each day for the last week but still only have 36 followers. 35 are bots and 1 is your nephew.

November: Random coin you drew a line on has gone up 300% in a day due to absolutely nothing to do with the line you drew. Within a week your account is at 180,000 followers and Blockchain Bullshitters magazine is calling you one of the best in the space.

December: Things are starting to look up. The year is over and although you lost $16.32 on your TA based trades, you ended up making $475,000 in affiliate income and $41,000 in a pump and dump scheme that resulted in 16 followers going bankrupt and 1 committing suicide.


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