Dr. Nicole LePera

Dr. Nicole LePera

19-11-2022

16:15

6 Ways To Directly Ask Your Partner For Your Needs To Be Met A THREAD ๐Ÿงต

Our partners aren't mind readers. Many of us have learned passive ways of communicating so we expect people to "just know" what we want. This isn't fair to ourselves. Or our partners.

In order to get a need met, we have to act directly. Even if this feels scary or awkward. With practice it gets easier.

1. "I feel far from you, can we spend some time together reconnecting?" Life happens. We can feel distance and need reconnection. It's important to ask for that connection.

2. "I notice I've been on edge and snippy. I am going to take need some space to decompress" When we notice ourselves running on empty, it's healthy to acknowledge it because this does impact our partners. Taking space can allow us to recalibrate.

3. "I am feeling insecure, can you reassure me that you love me?" Feeling insecure or anxious is a natural part of relationships. By being vulnerable and asking for reassurance, we can create emotional intimacy.

4. "I feel loved and cared for when you help around the house. Can we sit down and create a plan that involves us both helping out?" If we feel like we're carrying the majority of chores or housework, it's helpful to directly come up with a plan.

5. "I need you to speak to me before making decisions that effect both of us." Working as a team requires a lot of difficult conversations and consideration of our partners. Asking to work as a team creates a healthy relationship.

6. "I love your family and need us to have clear boundaries with them." When we are in partnership with a person, we often are in partnership with their family. It's helpful to come together and create boundaries around how you'll both engage with family.

If you found this thread helpful follow: @Theholisticpsyc I write threads every day on how to heal yourself.


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