Dr. Nicole LePera

Dr. Nicole LePera

25-10-2022

16:44

Trauma is stored in the body and revealed in relationships. HERE’S WHAT THAT MEANS 🧵:

Trauma happens when we experience something that overwhelms our capacity to cope. And, trauma isn’t just about what we experience— it’s what we don’t experience (connection, love, belonging, acceptance.)

When we experience something traumatic, our level of support matters. For example: after the event did we have someone who listened to us, accepted us, and who allowed us to feel whoever we felt.

Or: did we experience rejection, abandonment, gaslighting, or invalidation. If we didn’t, we internalize beliefs like: “no one cares” “I’m unworthy” “everyone will leave me.”

When we have a trauma response we go into: fight (attack), flight (run away), freeze (play dead), fawn (appease or people please.) This is our nervous system responding to threats. These responses help us mobilize or immobilize— to survive the threat.

Trauma becomes stored within the body in: the way we breathe, make eye contact, our posture, our coping mechanisms, and our habitual emotional responses. Note: these are unconscious. We don’t think about these things— they’re instinctual.

Most traumatic experiences happen in relationships: physical abuse, emotional abuse, neglect, parentification (we must be a parent to a parent), addiction, witnessing dysfunctional relationships etc. So, trauma reveals itself within relationships.

Because our sense of trust and safety is was betrayed— we tend to be insecurely attached. Meaning, we feel people will always hurt, betray, or abandon us in some way.

Trauma reveals itself in relationships by: - pushing people away when they get too close - assuming everyone has negative intentions - unconsciously sabotaging relationships - staying with partners who are hurtful or harmful...

because we believe we can change them - betraying our own needs to get a partners love or approval - enabling abusive or addictive partners - finding partners who shame, belittle or mock us - seeking emotionally unavailable partners

We have a subconscious desire to repeat or recreate our childhood dynamics. We do this in attempt to correct or “fix” our past experiences.

This is why understanding and processing your past trauma is important: because we tend to relive it in cycles (also known as generational trauma.) Once we’re aware of generational trauma patterns, we can begin to heal them.

We can learn: - healthy communication - healthy coping mechanisms - ways to regulate our emotions - ways to hold space for other people’s emotions - how to set boundaries - how to honor the boundaries of others


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