Farhan Khan

Farhan Khan

07-03-2020

16:46

#WhyIMarch 1- I went to see my nephew last week & the delight he drew to my heart was far more profound than the pain his mother, my sister, & all of us went through 2 years ago. “A divorced sister & daughter are better than dead ones”, hits me hard every day & I cannot thank

2- Allah enough for where my sister is today A few years ago, my parents married my teenage sister off in the family they thought would take good care of her that was nothing but their mere wishful thinking. The nightmare followed her lavish wedding, we spent every saved penny

3- On her jaheez just to appease her in-law's because in my parents' perception that would bribe her a bit of luck which wasn’t the case. After she stepped in that house, we told her would be hers from now onwards, but nothing welcomed her there.

4- She was beaten up for not cleaning the dishware properly, for not cleaning the rooms or washrooms of her inlaws, she wasn’t allowed to have a cell phone, her only source to communicate with us was her husband's phone who used to have a recorder on it, so that he could listen

5- To the conversations my sister had with mother. She was not allowed to see the doctor, so my mother would take her home to take her to the doctor, her character was disputed at every step that she took on the foundation of that cage she called her home

6- Because she was not wearing dupatta properly according to the standards set by her inlaws for her. The abuse left visible bruises on her body, & engraved pain on her soul & mind, she tried to take her life to end her pain many times becoz she saw no hope to escape that abuse

7- She was told by the society around her that it was only her dead body that would leave that house. The society around her induced her to come down to two picks that she could make, either take her life to end her miseries or master enough courage to stand up for her self

8- & get out of her marriage & start all over again, she chose the latter. That eid when she came home which was for a few hours, she refused to go back, we kept on telling her to go back, but she refused to go and when my mother asked her why?

9- She told us about every torment inflicted upon her. It was hard, tough and a long battle not only for my sister to get her freedom back but for us to fight alongside her with the conservative society to set her free from that panopticon of a torturous marriage.

10- We started convincing everyone in the family that divorce was the only way out. The idea of divorce was dejected by everyone and they all were hellbound to send her back so as to preserve the imaginary honor they thought would be tarnished if she stayed at her parents' home.

11-People tried their best to make us a believe that after the divorce her life won't ever be of a much value. Jigras after jirgas, men sitting together and deciding the course of my sister ’s life and not for once they thought about the trauma my sister was going through.

12- We send elders to her in laws but they refused to pay heed to our legitimate concerns. Instead the message they conveyed was that her hair would turn white waiting for the divorce but she wont have it. She would stay at home tied to their name till she takes her last breath

13- As if she wasn’t a living breathing human but their egoistic possession. It took us six long months of a painful ordeal to file khula for her. This is not just the story of my sister. This is the story of many other women in this country who will never be heard because

14- because the men of her family won’t let her speak up for herself. Because this society has conditioned men into thinking that a woman holds no value if her name is not tied to a brother, a father, a husband or a son. #AuratMarch2020


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