Dr. Nicole LePera

Dr. Nicole LePera

25-10-2022

08:02

Being emotionally resilient doesn’t mean you aren’t impacted by life or that you never have “bad” days. It means you can feel a wide range of emotions and return to a stable baseline. HERE’S HOW TO BECOME MORE EMOTIONALLY RESILIENT 🧵:

As humans, we feel a spectrum of emotions. While it’s good to be positive, it’s also helpful to allow yourself to feel exactly what you feel— even when it’s “negative” (sad, angry, envious)

Repressing or denying emotions doesn’t make them go away. It can actually keep us caught in loops that make us “stuck.” Our minds are good at believing what we “should” feel. Ex: “I should be over this by now.”

Our minds are also good (specifically if you’ve experienced childhood trauma) at beating ourselves up. We tend to internalize the voices of critical parents. Ex: “I’m an idiot. Why did I do that.”

Being emotionally resilient is about self forgiveness. We practice self forgiveness through self talk. This is important because the way we speak to ourselves creates an emotional response in the body.

HERE’S SELF TALK FOR EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE: - “I did the best I could” - “That was my coping mechanism and I release the shame” - “Today is one day. Tomorrow is a new opportunity for me.” - “I’m learning as I go. Im not perfect and that’s ok.”

- “I’m safe now. It’s safe to feel good.” - “This is one moment of my life. This too will pass.” - “I forgive me for what I did when I was hurt.” - “I forgive me for hurting others and believe in my overall goodness.” - “Good things come for me”

By now dismissing, shaming ourselves, or attempting to talk ourselves out of how we feel— we create safety for ourselves. The more safe we feel, the more resilient we become.

When we’re in fight or flight our thoughts match our nervous system state. Ex: doomsday thoughts, self criticism, worst case scenarios. Being able to witness this cycle and speak to ourselves as a kind, loving parent creates emotional resilience.

The more we speak to ourselves this way the more we widen our window of tolerance— our window of tolerance is our ability to feel discomfort.


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