Poppy

Poppy

09-07-2022

22:35

Nemeses to lovers / separated at birth cw incest , miyacest , angst , implied + mentioned domestic SA (not between them) , dub con / thread As a result of divorce, the twins were separated as infants, their mother taking custody of Atsumu, while Osamu goes with their father.

It’s a nasty split, neither parent considering the implications of pulling apart literal twins, and neglecting the importance of securing a bond early on. And so it comes with all the fears and insecurities borne as a result of the loss of more than just a harmonious family life.

But it ‘works’, according to the parents, because at least they still get to ‘meet’ at school and the occasional family dinner. You’d think Atsumu and Osamu would be gentle and considerate of each other. But no. That's his blight.

One twin grows angry at his mother for not taking him instead, and the other at his father. They take it out on each other. It’s a steel knot of tension and cynicism between them, and their parents don’t believe in therapy; not for themselves, not for their children.

As long as they bring no trouble home and the grades remain exceptional. And they do. They’re both positively outstanding. At school, it’s always Atsumu and Osamu on top - a close call, a tie, either one of them coming in first. It’s always excellence, and it’s always war.

They join volleyball and [but] they’re on the same team. Osamu takes Food and Nutrition class and Atsumu follows him into the elective to supplement his own stream. It’s always a competition. They become obsessed.

He must one-up his infuriating, hateful, horrid twin. Because maybe then mom [dad] will be better impressed with /him/. And maybe - hopefully - he gets the perfect family instead. And Osamu [Atsumu] gets nothing.

Atsumu hates that Osamu plays so well with him and that his spikes improve to become perfect for his sets. He hates that he has nothing to correct him for as much as the others. Hates that Osamu was able to set to him at a minus tempo at Kita’s request that one time.

He refuses to ever do it again. He hates the chemistry they have despite his loathing. The absolute audacity. That no matter how far and fast he runs ahead of the rest, Osamu is always, always at his side.

That it isn’t so lonely on top like they say. Atsumu was certain he wanted that solitude. Osamu positions himself next to him atop the highest mountain and stares into him with those cold, blank eyes, while Atsumu himself puts up a wall of fire.

Osamu hates what that fire does to him. Because there’s a burning inside his own gut, and only the look on Atsumu’s face can bring some definition to the feeling. Because you see Osamu hates his father. His father with the same dull, soulless eyes as his own.

Especially when he drinks – oh it’s worse when he drinks, horrifying and wicked. Atsumu is nothing like their father. A part of him understands why his mother filed, even if he may not truly know. That part of him agrees with - roots for - the prospect that Atsumu could

/actually/ hate Osamu as much as Osamu hates their father. He stares into Atsumu’s eyes at the daggers sent his way, golden and self-righteous. And he’ll never admit it out loud, but these are times when he wishes that looks could kill.

To martyr himself for Atsumu by Atsumu, instead of at the hands of their old man. Said twin sees Osamu’s eyes grow progressively tired and invasive- like how Osamu invades his conscience and his dreams. Yet Atsumu is too proud to care. Why should he?

They barely look at each other across the dinner table during the occasional visitation. When their parents erupt yet again, one goes to their room and the other waits outside to leave. There is no love between them so none can be lost.

If Atsumu choses to fall short of 100%, it’s not because of love. He knows somewhat- and so little- how dad can be. If he offers (to Kita) to practice minus tempo with Osamu, it’s not for /him/ or the feeling of exhilaration nor for the look on Osamu’s face. It’s for the team.

If he tells their mother that Osamu needs their kitchen for the take-home culinary coursework (instead of their dad’s when he’s pissing drunk and a hovering menace), it’s because Osamu deserves a fair fight against him.

Even if it is disproportionately in Osamu’s favour because he’s truly talented and in love with food as far as Atsumu can tell. Because Osamu is his rival and he deserves level ground. The best conditions.

Outside of that he means nothing - how can someone so meaningless change the way he views the entire world? They’re teenagers with a little more freedom so Osamu spends less time at home. As much as he is allowed, he flees to the park, the library or the school grounds for

the kitchen and the gym. He doesn’t cater for when Atsumu stumbles upon him way too early in the locker room and watches him twitch and fall consumed by anxiety and paranoia. He doesn’t cater to the fact that he’s been observed from afar like an enduring test subject instead

of a worthy opponent. Because that must be what this is when he is confronted for the scars on his back and the flinch in his step. That must be what it is when Atsumu’s bag drops and he’s manhandling Osamu to face the light when he himself feels raw and indecent and exposed.

“What the fuck is this?” And it’s funny he should ask. But it’s not at all funny when he’s breaking their pact of chafing silence. “Leave it alone.” But Atsumu’s a stubborn mule and Osamu is tired from the night he’s had. Atsumu is fracturing their predetermined distance

to inspect and grab at his arms not unlike the way his dad did but with every difference in intention. And they’re arguing about what is allowed and what should be reported and they’re all just words to Osamu. Atsumu figures as much, but he hopes Osamu can at least see

the look on his face when he tells him that he doesn’t have to stay there. Osamu infuriates him. Osamu endures and postures and does nothing to help himself. Osamu is his younger twin and he acts like he needs nothing and no one.

“He’s all I have. No one else wants me.” He gestures in Atsumu’s general direction. “Just- just dad, so shut the fuck up!” Atsumu hates him so much. Osamu or his dad, he isn’t certain anymore. He shouts to the top of his lungs: I WANT YOU.

His voice echoes and his ears ring. His truth bouncing through each stall in the showers to assault Osamu’s ears as he stands stock still. He says it again. He’s so wetly consumed by whatever the fuck has him seeing red (and grey - sad, beautiful grey that breaks his heart),

but it’s not aimed at Osamu anymore. He cannot rage against this boy any longer, but on behalf of him. He wants Osamu and he wants him away from their father. He wants him better than he does, because Atsumu actually cares.

An honesty uncages itself from deep inside his belly. After all these years, Osamu and their dad had gradually exchanged places on the pedestal of Atsumu’s heart. He never needed their father’s approval any more than he did Osamu’s. And he never seeked his love. “I want you.

Mom wants you. She misses ya every day yer not with us, I see it. And I- I love you.” To say that he /loves/ Osamu, is something brand new. In their world they don’t dare utter such words. A rare ‘love ya’ at the end of his mother’s calls.

Nothing at all from their father. Osamu lived with that. Did he ever really hear it? His hands tremble. Did he ever feel it? A fat tear falls from Osamu’s gaping eyes. “You. You don’t actually mean that.” “Have a little faith in me.”

But he’s got the wrong guy. Osamu doesn’t have faith. Nor trust. He only has touch - cold, hard, solid and mean. He throws Atsumu to the bench and asks him if he’s sure. Do you really love me? He climbs atop his twin, torn between himself and a learned savagery.

Heaves into Atsumu’s shoulder while the blond pulls him close. Do you really want me? Like this? In all my dirtiness? Atsumu struggles and dances around his morals before he proceeds to dance with the devil. Giving in. He does want him.

And Osamu takes him right there, buries his hate and pain deep into his twin as Atsumu swears up and down to destroy the man who started it all. In the name of Osamu. His brother. /

/ Logically/legally I guess most of this wouldn't have worked and they probably would have grown together despite the split. Not sure, so I relied on parental toxicity, the need to please and unhealthy dynamics to put my boys in a situation <3


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